I have two comments. First, it seems I am seeing the message about nervous system regulation everywhere these days. Perhaps it is because I have decided to focus on it, myself, and therefore I’m calling the help in.
Second, your writing style cracks me up. In a good way! I was with you every step of the way, found it serious and smart, and yet I found myself giggling at your similes. They were brilliant!
Thank you so much Angela ❤️. While it is a serious topic, I don’t see why we can’t bring a bit of humour to it 😄. For me, humour makes it easier and more ‘fun’ to read (plus it’s more fun to write).
And you’re not alone with seeing stuff about the nervous system everywhere. I think it’s partly you’re calling in the help, partly the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, but also I’m seeing more coaches talking about the nervous system - ones that didn’t mention it before. I think more are realising that the nervous system/ polyvagal theory explains so much of what was once so vague. It’s like a lot of people have found the missing piece. And I expect more and more to talk about it until we all become sick of hearing about it 😆. But for now, I find it so fascinating and love writing about it.
One thing I've been reflecting on lately is that awareness seems to operate at different levels.
We can become consciously aware of a pattern long before the nervous system updates its understanding of reality.
The mind says, "I know I'm safe now."
The body says, "I'll believe it when I experience it consistently."
I think that's why so many intelligent, self-aware people become frustrated with themselves. They mistake a physiological response for a lack of understanding.
What stood out to me most about your article was the compassion in it.
The shift from seeing ourselves as broken to seeing ourselves as protected changes the entire healing conversation.
Thank you so much ❤️. I almost think that this way of growing or moving closer to our goals or dealing with the milder aspects of our traumas is the opposite way we have been taught. We've been taught to override the body when the body is exactly what we should be listening to. And I think once we get there, it is easier to have the compassion to see ourselves as a work in progress and notice the messages our bodies send to us vs getting stuck in victim mode (ah yes, I have spent considerable time stuck there in the past!). And once we see that in ourselves, we can start to see it in others too. But I truly believe that it all starts with checking in with our body and asking "how is it going today for you?" "what's that twinge all about then? What do you need today"
I've come to see the body as having its own language.
The challenge is that it doesn't speak in words.
It speaks through sensations, tension, fatigue, aches, emotions, gut feelings, and the countless subtle signals most of us were never taught how to listen to.
For years I tried to think my way through everything. What I've gradually learned is that the body is often communicating information long before the conscious mind catches up.
And as you said, when we learn to listen with curiosity instead of judgment, compassion seems to follow naturally.
"the moment expansion becomes real — not vision-board-real, but “people can now see me” real — the nervous system slams the brakes like a raccoon driving a stolen Volvo on black ice."
Since I've started writing on Substack, I say over and over...safety comes before success. Not the other way around. Especially for high functioning, sensitive people.
Feel the fear, build some safety first, and do it anyway 🩶
It's so true though - without putting safety first (and to do that we really have to notice the messages from our body) we're just setting ourself up for another round of self-sabotage.
And those of us who are sensitive and feel everything, it's so much more important for us to do this (I have learned, by trial and error 😁) before we make our move.
AndI love your phrase: Feel the fear, build some safety first, and do it anyway 🩶. Now THAT's the complete sentence! I wish i had been taught this decades ago. Just think how far along we'd all be by now!
Great article. ❤️ Deeply resonating.
I have two comments. First, it seems I am seeing the message about nervous system regulation everywhere these days. Perhaps it is because I have decided to focus on it, myself, and therefore I’m calling the help in.
Second, your writing style cracks me up. In a good way! I was with you every step of the way, found it serious and smart, and yet I found myself giggling at your similes. They were brilliant!
Thank you so much Angela ❤️. While it is a serious topic, I don’t see why we can’t bring a bit of humour to it 😄. For me, humour makes it easier and more ‘fun’ to read (plus it’s more fun to write).
And you’re not alone with seeing stuff about the nervous system everywhere. I think it’s partly you’re calling in the help, partly the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, but also I’m seeing more coaches talking about the nervous system - ones that didn’t mention it before. I think more are realising that the nervous system/ polyvagal theory explains so much of what was once so vague. It’s like a lot of people have found the missing piece. And I expect more and more to talk about it until we all become sick of hearing about it 😆. But for now, I find it so fascinating and love writing about it.
This really resonated with me. 💚
One thing I've been reflecting on lately is that awareness seems to operate at different levels.
We can become consciously aware of a pattern long before the nervous system updates its understanding of reality.
The mind says, "I know I'm safe now."
The body says, "I'll believe it when I experience it consistently."
I think that's why so many intelligent, self-aware people become frustrated with themselves. They mistake a physiological response for a lack of understanding.
What stood out to me most about your article was the compassion in it.
The shift from seeing ourselves as broken to seeing ourselves as protected changes the entire healing conversation.
A wonderful read. 🙏💚
Thank you so much ❤️. I almost think that this way of growing or moving closer to our goals or dealing with the milder aspects of our traumas is the opposite way we have been taught. We've been taught to override the body when the body is exactly what we should be listening to. And I think once we get there, it is easier to have the compassion to see ourselves as a work in progress and notice the messages our bodies send to us vs getting stuck in victim mode (ah yes, I have spent considerable time stuck there in the past!). And once we see that in ourselves, we can start to see it in others too. But I truly believe that it all starts with checking in with our body and asking "how is it going today for you?" "what's that twinge all about then? What do you need today"
I love that. 💚
I've come to see the body as having its own language.
The challenge is that it doesn't speak in words.
It speaks through sensations, tension, fatigue, aches, emotions, gut feelings, and the countless subtle signals most of us were never taught how to listen to.
For years I tried to think my way through everything. What I've gradually learned is that the body is often communicating information long before the conscious mind catches up.
And as you said, when we learn to listen with curiosity instead of judgment, compassion seems to follow naturally.
🙏💚
This is so good.
"the moment expansion becomes real — not vision-board-real, but “people can now see me” real — the nervous system slams the brakes like a raccoon driving a stolen Volvo on black ice."
Since I've started writing on Substack, I say over and over...safety comes before success. Not the other way around. Especially for high functioning, sensitive people.
Feel the fear, build some safety first, and do it anyway 🩶
I do love a good racoon metaphor 😆
It's so true though - without putting safety first (and to do that we really have to notice the messages from our body) we're just setting ourself up for another round of self-sabotage.
And those of us who are sensitive and feel everything, it's so much more important for us to do this (I have learned, by trial and error 😁) before we make our move.
AndI love your phrase: Feel the fear, build some safety first, and do it anyway 🩶. Now THAT's the complete sentence! I wish i had been taught this decades ago. Just think how far along we'd all be by now!